First Day with Nanny

Today is way harder than I thought it would be. I was okay until John called my office to see how I was doing. I just lost it at my desk. I hate hate hate that Brooklyn isn't with someone that she already knows. I am worried that she'll be scared of the new face and surroundings. But it is what God has for us at this time, so I'll deal with it and be thankful that Shelby, someone we know and love, is willing & able to help us out. It isn't like she's a complete stranger. And this is keeping Brooklyn from daycare germs. So yes, I guess there are many positives. Rebecca, cling to them!

Black Friday

Got some great deals. Did more spending on myself than anyone else. What's up with that???

It really wasn't the nightmare I thought it would be. I guess it's all in the attitude. I normally hate crowds and lines and the multitude of idiot drivers. But this day I figured those people WILL be encountered...so I'd better just be prepared for it. It made the experience so much fun. Went shopping with Krissy until our feet hurt. It was great to catch up with my BFF. It's been a long time since we've hung out just the two of us. I heart her! We also met John & Brooklyn at Moe's for lunch. I truly love the excitement of Christmas.

Heather will be here in less than a month! Huge WOOHOO!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Morning:
I've been up since 7:00am. Went to walmart to get newspaper & ended up buying a little Christmas tree. Got donuts & coffee. Came home to watch parade and look through the black friday ads. Everyone is still asleep. I love this quiet time. Think I'll make this my new tradition for Thanksgiving mornings. I love my family. I love this moment soooo much.

Afternoon:
Heading to in-law's house for dinner. Freebie does it again....wonderful spread!
Then we take pictures of the family, eat pie, then watch 3 movies while lounging around the house.

Evening:
Good to be home. I love time with family but home is soooooo nice.

You can ALWAYS trust in God to come through!

Last week John's company cancelled the 4 day work week. Although that sucks for him, the child care schedule, at this point, was still workable. However then we were dealt a blow last night when we found out my mom wouldn't be able to care for Brooklyn either. Seriously? But we had it all figured out. Why is this coming crashing down on us??? I really felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I cried.

How would we manage to find care for the baby for the 2 days a week that my mother in law cannot cover? My mind started going crazy trying to find a solution to our new problem. Does part time daycare even exist? Not for an infant. Am I going to have to quit my job? I can't even think straight. My heart was overwhelmed with sadness. I made some phone calls. We prayed and then went to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.

And with tomorrow the sun came up. I called a friend this morning and asked her if her mom might want to work for us by caring for Brooklyn 2 days a week. The answer is a very enthusiastic "YES!" Seriously? Please don't be joking. "No, really. I would LOVE to watch Brooklyn for you. Thanks so much for asking me." Wow. I didn't expect that. But I knew that God would take care of things.

I called John with the good news and he was soooooo relieved. Shelby will start on 11/30.

Oh happy day!

Happy Birthday to Me!

We all slept in this morning but when I went to see the baby this is what I found:



Lunch in the village with John & Brooklyn. Thai Thai's...nummers!!

Lots of great pictures in the park.






Dinner with family & friends. More great pictures. What a luxurious day!

Reflections on the first 3 months

Last night I was clipping Brooklyn’s finger/toe nails as she fell asleep on my lap. It was so easy… *clip clip clip* and done. Then I carried her into her room, put her in her crib, tucked her in, and got the heck out. All in under a minute. It got me thinking about how far we’ve all come in 3 short months.

I remembered how panicked I was to clip her teensy little nails for the first time. Her fingers were unbelievably tiny. Even with John gently holding her finger and 20 minutes of me sweating and fumbling around, I just gave up…almost in tears from the fear of cutting my baby’s finger and unprepared for how hard this simple task was. And look at us now!

I also remembered how for the first month of Brooklyn’s life I would start to feel anxious at around 7’oclock each night, wondering if any of us would get any sleep that night. If she fell asleep in my arms I would watch what seemed like an eternity of minutes creep by before I could muster the nerve to get up. Then I’d hold my breath as I placed her in her bassinet…pleading with God not to let her wake up so I could get 3 decent hours of sleep. And look at us now! I can plop her in the crib and she’ll sleep for 9 or 10 hours. Anxiety – GONE!

I thought back to when John and I gave her her first bath in the kitchen sink. It was miserable for me. I worried about EVERYTHING…was the water too warm? Was John scrubbing her too hard and getting soap in her eyes? Would she slip out of my hands and drown or fall onto the tile? Would she hate this and us for doing it to her? But look at us now! Bath time is so easy and much more fun for all. She loves the water, splashes around with her feet, and looks into my eyes as I sing, talk to her and scrub all her 2000 parts.

I think about how my attitude has changed. Maybe I'm more patient. At least that is what John says. What used to annoy me about the idea of parenthood doesn’t seem to matter anymore. Like how you have to load up the U-haul with baby equipment just to run up to the grocery store for 2 things. Or how you put your hobbies on hold because spending time with the baby before she goes to bed is so much more fulfilling. Eh…you do these things because you love her and your own comfort or convenience or entertainment isn’t as high a priority. And you really don’t mind either.

I think about how this whole trip is a leap of faith. I feel like my heart is actually outside of my body and has become this little baby. I’ve felt like that about her daddy for years but with her it is a much more raw, vulnerable feeling. I HAVE to trust God with our tomorrows, even more now than ever before. So for today I will kiss her head. It is like breathing....I need to do it! And I will drink in her full-faced, chubby-cheeked, toothless smiles. And I will cherish every moment, great or small. As far as I can tell, parenthood is the greatest job God ever gave a person. And I know I’ve only scratched the surface!

Pics of Brooklyn's Room