Lies they tell you about the solid food transition...

Okay, I'm really frustrated that no one tells you how to go about the whole 'introduction to solid foods' thing. Here are a couple of lies I uncovered about this transition:

1) All the books I read said to mix the cereal with milk to a very runny consistency, to equal about a teaspoon for day 1. Then reduce the milk and increase the cereal daily from then on. Oh this is so not true. Brooklyn's system did not handle the onslaught of anything other than milk. What we learned later is that we should give her cereal for one meal, followed by milk, for one day only. Wait a couple days. Give it to her again for one meal, then milk, for one day. And so on. Then move up to two days in a row. This gives her system time to process this more concentrated form of food. Would this info have been nice to know a week ago????? YES! I could have avoided #2. Read on....

2) AND ANOTHER THING they don't tell you is that rice cereal will bind up the baby's ability to poo, making them seriously uncomfortable and prone to mindless screaming for hours on end. Will you have any idea why this is happening? Of course not. As new parents how would you know this? Again, helpful stuff to know LAST WEEK.

3) They make you think that if your kid isn't on solids by 6 months then you must be some freak trying to hinder your child's development or something. Screw "them" whoever "they" are. We took Brooklyn off the cereal and threw it in the trash. I don't care how old she is right now, or WHO thinks she should be eating solids already. I've never known a 5 year old who is still bottle fed because his parents didn't move him to solids by 6 months of age. We are going to wait a couple more weeks and try again. And maybe not even with cereal. Hence #4...

4) They also make you think that cereal is the first thing a baby should even try. Bull honk! I had a friend tell me she skipped cereal altogether with her first baby and he turned out just great.

I think we'll try avocado with Brooklyn when we give solid food another go. In a few weeks. When we are all darn good & ready. And if she happens to be 7 months old, SO BE IT!

Ch-Ch-Changes

I'm going to take a few minutes to unload some gripes. Feel free to skip this post if you want.

I've gained 34 lbs so far and I'm okay with that. But I strongly believe only 15 lbs is baby and 10 lbs sits in each foot. I'm totally wondering how much my poor foot skin can take before it explodes. And let me tell you, it doesn't tickle. Boo to feet puffs!

You know what else sucks? Acid reflux. And the consequential not being able to sleep in any other position than standing up. Well rested? Bah! What's that?

Also getting old is the lower back pain. I'm way too young to feel like a Golden Girl bobbling around the shuffle board courts of Boca Raton in my slippers and house coat. On the plus side, I've found an unbelievable chiropractor who also does prenatal massage...all for a $15 copay. Yes, you heard me correctly. It's amazing, isn't it?

The last item on my list is lack of motivation. I couldn't be LESS INTERESTED in my job right now. Every time I'm given an assignment I think "Sheesh...don't you guys know I'm busy growing a baby?! I can't focus on work right now!"

So I'm starting to think more seriously about maternity leave and the details that go into getting that ball rolling. I can't imagine the gloriousness that will be "3 months off of work." I've been saving as much as I can to be able to afford the 6 extra weeks of unpaid leave. It breaks my heart to think of going back sooner just because of money.

And my other thoughts more recently have been about breastfeeding. I really really really want to do this successfully for the better part of a year, regardless of going back to work. I'm sure it is challenging and painful in the beginning. And inconvenient. And awkward. But I feel so strongly about doing it that I just don't care about the issues that typically prevent people from keeping this up. I'm determined to make it work. Women before me have done it successfully, both working mothers and stay-at-home-moms. I know it is possible.

Things I would change about being pregnant

1) All maternity pants would come with suspenders. I'm so tired of, while walking up and down the stairs at work, having to stop at each landing to hike my preggy pants back up from my knees!

2) My office furniture. My work chair would be a plush high-back recliner and my desk would lower down over me at the touch of a button...kind of like the safety bars at an amusement park ride. That way I could still reach my keyboard/mouse/phone/supplies while elevating these tree stump feet.

3) I would remove the element of "work" from "being at work". I've never been more tired or less motivated at my job than I have been for the last 6 months. How cool would it be if all I had to do was recline in my leather lazy boy, hedged in by my space age desk and nap or read, disturbed only by the persistent bladder call, all while getting paid? Oh wait, that's called WELFARE! But don't get me started on that. Sorry...thought I was on my other blog for a minute there.

4) Sushi would be on the "safe to eat" list for pregnant women. California rolls are for sissies, but this sissy has to eat up and just deal with it because she can't have anything more exciting than faux crab & avocado.

The Diary of a Mad White Pregnant Lady

If you want to share stories of how wonderful and fulfilling it is to be a parent....come, share, I'm all ears.

If you want to relay how parenting has changed your life for the better...pull up a chair cuz I'm listening.

If you want to encourage me by saying "You WILL make it through the sleepless nights and when that tender little baby looks up at you it makes it all worth it"....then I'm your girl.

If you want to drone on and one in a mocking way about projectile baby waste or how much stuff you CAN'T do now that you have kids, then seriously....shut the pie hole.

If you want to laugh and snicker with a tone that says "awe, how naive she is" or tell me how I'll have milk stains all over my clothing so I may as well give up on keeping my clothes clean or how babies wreck your house so don't expect to have anything nice for the rest of my life...I couldn't be any less interested.

If you resent your job as a parent or want to spread your own personal misery...I've got no time for that.

I have time for encouragement. I have time for support. Especially from other parents. Parents who should KNOW the rich benefits of support. Do I want to keep my head in the sand about the negative side of parenting? No. Can I imagine that there will be hard times? Yes. Do I know poo & pee & vomit is a very real part of raising a baby? Uh yeah...what goes in must come out. Duh. Do I know my life is going to change? I hope it does change.

Why is it so frickin hard for people to encourage one another? I will NEVER understand the propensity young parents have for trying to scare the crap out of someone starting a new family. It's like they get some sick joy out of it. "Hey, I have an idea! Let me go find people who are really trying to enjoy the experience of parenthood and let me kick their joy parade right in the tidbits! Mwahahahahaha!"

And since I can't stop them (punching people before they even start a sentence only works in my head) I need to learn how to protect myself from it. Live in a cave? No. Cherry-pick the people I associate with for the next 6 months...or forever? I wish. Get one of those remotes Adam Sandler used in 'Click' and initiate the mute button? I wish.

I know I need to toughen up a bit. I don't know how to do that. Stupid people make me mad. I can't help it. But I am open for advice.