Ch-Ch-Changes

I'm going to take a few minutes to unload some gripes. Feel free to skip this post if you want.

I've gained 34 lbs so far and I'm okay with that. But I strongly believe only 15 lbs is baby and 10 lbs sits in each foot. I'm totally wondering how much my poor foot skin can take before it explodes. And let me tell you, it doesn't tickle. Boo to feet puffs!

You know what else sucks? Acid reflux. And the consequential not being able to sleep in any other position than standing up. Well rested? Bah! What's that?

Also getting old is the lower back pain. I'm way too young to feel like a Golden Girl bobbling around the shuffle board courts of Boca Raton in my slippers and house coat. On the plus side, I've found an unbelievable chiropractor who also does prenatal massage...all for a $15 copay. Yes, you heard me correctly. It's amazing, isn't it?

The last item on my list is lack of motivation. I couldn't be LESS INTERESTED in my job right now. Every time I'm given an assignment I think "Sheesh...don't you guys know I'm busy growing a baby?! I can't focus on work right now!"

So I'm starting to think more seriously about maternity leave and the details that go into getting that ball rolling. I can't imagine the gloriousness that will be "3 months off of work." I've been saving as much as I can to be able to afford the 6 extra weeks of unpaid leave. It breaks my heart to think of going back sooner just because of money.

And my other thoughts more recently have been about breastfeeding. I really really really want to do this successfully for the better part of a year, regardless of going back to work. I'm sure it is challenging and painful in the beginning. And inconvenient. And awkward. But I feel so strongly about doing it that I just don't care about the issues that typically prevent people from keeping this up. I'm determined to make it work. Women before me have done it successfully, both working mothers and stay-at-home-moms. I know it is possible.

Pre-Natal Mother's Day

I totally did not share any of the events from Mother's Day. When I came home from church that Sunday morning, John and Bean had a nice surprise waiting for me: a card and some "I Love Mommy" bibs and burp cloths. John swears Bean put him up to it and that he had really no say in what was done that day, except to help her write the card since she's...well...currently incapable of holding a pen. He's so cute.

I also got some really great cards from my mom and mother-in-law.

It's kind of weird for me though because I don't feel like a mother. Yeah, I'm growing life in me as we speak but for right now it is more like a biological process than a maternal thing. I don't have any control over what is happening. My body has taken over and is doing what God programmed it to do. Now once the baby is born and I've had a chance to do some mothering maybe I'll settle more comfortably into the title of Mother.

It's still sweet thought...all the effort they put into making my day special.

Child Birth Classes - not for the faint of heart.

So on Saturday John and I took a child birth class. Yeah yeah, I know we were there to learn how to prepare for THE BIG DAY but I have to say that while walking into the room my first inclination was to size up the other preggies.

"Wow, my feet are literally the most swollen! I was hoping to lose that contest. But wait...my belly is not the biggest. SCORE!! Am I the first one to head directly to the snack table before even putting down my purse? No wait, she just did the same thing. Okay, I'm good."

How did the class go? We learned a lot about how long labor lasts. Yay. I always thought it was between 8-12 hours so you can imagine my surprise when the instructor said "Between 12-24 hours." What?! I think at that point I whispered to John "Oh that's it...I'm out!"

We learned about what positions or conditions a baby would have to be in to necessitate a C-section delivery. We learned about breathing techniques, different drugs used to ease the pain of labor, what to pack before heading to the hospital, when to actually GO to the hospital. Oh and don't let me forget the "no way they just showed THAT" delivery videos.

What did I take home from this class? Questions. Can I actually do this? Am I going to scream and carry on like those women in the videos? The dramatics seem highly unnecessary. Am I going to hate John, even for a nano-second, for his role in all t his? Am I even going to want to have a 2nd baby after this?

The answers I came up with are this: Yes, I can absolutely do this! I doubt I'll do much "carrying on" with a glorious epidural. And if I do, who cares??? No, I won't hate on John even for a fraction of a nano-second! (It takes two to tango.) Our baby will not be an only child. At least not because I'm too chicken to go through delivery a second time. I'm tougher than that!

All in all John and I are continuing to pray for a safe, healthy, drama-free, textbook non-Caesarean delivery. Feel free to join us!

A Few Good Things

Last night at dinner the waitress asks me when I'm due. I think "Oh here we go again with the 'you'll be miserable in August' comments from a stranger." My fist of death starts to twitch under the table. When I tell her my due date she says, "Wow, that is a hot time. But YOU'LL DO FINE! You'll forget about it before you know it!" She lives to see another day. I will remember her positive words forever.

On Monday I took an extended version of the glucose test that would screen me for gestational diabetes. This consists of fasting for the day followed by a very unfun 3.5 hour visit to the blood lab where they draw blood 4 times after giving you this orange sugar water that you have to drink quickly. *gag!* You can do nothing but hang around their office. No, you can't leave to go shopping at the plaza next door. No, you can't go home and take a nap. No, no, no, Rebecca! You just sit in the office and try not to burn off any glucose in between blood draws. I brought a book, a laptop & some cards to write out which made the experience more tolerable. So anyway, John and I and several of our dear friends, family and my coworkers prayed that my test would come out negative. Well the nurse called on Tuesday and confirmed that I have NO DIABETES! If anyone ever doubts the power of prayer...I'm here to tell ya that God DOES hear and DOES respond to our cries. Know this.

On Sunday my in-laws threw me a baby shower. Wow, what fun! Bean has soooo many cute outfits to wear now! All the guests were so sweet and it was great to spend time with several ladies I hadn't seen in a long time. The food was fabulous, the games were perfect, the decorations were adorable and I think everyone had a great time. I know I did.

As for me, my belly just keeps on growing. I feel more huge than I look. The weight gain is up to 15 lbs now. I think that is fine and the doc hasn't mentioned anything about me gaining too fast or slow. All is well.

Baby Belly @ 27 Weeks & Updates

So the foot swelling is not actually that bad. It hit me for 2 days then only popped up again once about a week later. Most of the time my feet are normal. Score another one on the "Awesome-est Pregnancy Ever" side.

I've gained about 10 or 11 lbs since the beginning of the pregnancy. And I still feel fine aside from a little lower back pain which is totally bearable.

I can't wait to post pictures of Bean's room. We've done so much to it but since it isn't quite ready I'll have to wait on the before and after photos. =)

The results of my initial glucose test revealed that my levels are just high enough to warrant further testing. Yay. I get to drink another dose of nasty orange sugar water and have blood drawn every hour for 3 hours. My doctor is very optimistic that this test will show everything is fine. I really appreciate him being so positive.

John and I really love my doctor. He answers every question soooo thoroughly, giving us best and worst case scenarios but careful to be extremely positive. He shares our views of C-sections, epidurals & induction. He says we should surround ourselves with people who share our positive outlook. Granted, I don't have any other OBY doctor to compare this one with, but if we leave ANY doctor's office feeling as encouraged as we did today...that doc gets a gold star!

Things I would change about being pregnant

1) All maternity pants would come with suspenders. I'm so tired of, while walking up and down the stairs at work, having to stop at each landing to hike my preggy pants back up from my knees!

2) My office furniture. My work chair would be a plush high-back recliner and my desk would lower down over me at the touch of a button...kind of like the safety bars at an amusement park ride. That way I could still reach my keyboard/mouse/phone/supplies while elevating these tree stump feet.

3) I would remove the element of "work" from "being at work". I've never been more tired or less motivated at my job than I have been for the last 6 months. How cool would it be if all I had to do was recline in my leather lazy boy, hedged in by my space age desk and nap or read, disturbed only by the persistent bladder call, all while getting paid? Oh wait, that's called WELFARE! But don't get me started on that. Sorry...thought I was on my other blog for a minute there.

4) Sushi would be on the "safe to eat" list for pregnant women. California rolls are for sissies, but this sissy has to eat up and just deal with it because she can't have anything more exciting than faux crab & avocado.

Late Breaking Story - Cankle Update!!!

Upon closer examination, I have to revise my previous statement about my ankles NOT looking like pillows stuffed into shoes. Oh my word you'd think I had a salt-lick sandwich for breakfast! I took my foot out of my shoe and I just can't even express how puffy my ankle and foot is up to where the shoe starts. Someone stole my sweet feet and replaced them with two loaves of challah bread!

Long Overdue Updates

Sorry I haven't written in a while. Been busy, as you can imagine. Wow, are we already through half of May??? Cripes.

Bean Update:
Bean is growing stronger each day. She lets me know it, too, with her 'good morning' kicks and her 'get me some food NOW' kicks and her 'wow I LOVE that music' kicks. She's also knows her daddy's voice! Whenever John comes home from work or in the morning when he speaks to my belly, we both feel her kick in response to his words. Yesterday John was speaking to her and had his face really close to my stomach and Bean got so excited that she kicked him in the chin!

Yesterday I decided that I am going to start putting my headphones on my belly while I work to give Bean some music exposure. I've read that 30 minutes a day at a medium volume is best. I started her out with Passion Band's "Hymns - Ancient & Modern" and she started jumping around when the music started. I had the fleeting thought "Oh crap, is it too loud?? Am I ruining her tiny developing ear drums???? My God I'm a MONSTER!" But when I put the headphones on, the music was just loud enough to hear it myself. Bean's ears are fine. She was just getting her praise on.

Me Update:
I still feel good, for the most part. My lower back is starting to hurt and I don't walk as fast as I used to. I feel like I shuffle a lot. No waddling yet, but I think that is on the horizon. Starting to get more winded as I walk up the stairs to my 2nd floor office every morning. However, my ankles remain at the same level of puffiness that I wrote about last month. They don't resemble pillows being stuffed into my shoes yet and I'm fine with that. My belly has grown 2 inches since a couple of weeks ago and I've gained 7 lbs since my March 20th doctor visit. It's all belly, boobs & apparently ankles. I haven't had any horomonal crying spells, I haven't stabbed anyone, I haven't had any cravings and I haven't started scrubbing tile grout with a toothbrush (yet!) I did, however, have a WONDERFUL Mother's Day. More on that in the following section.

John Update:
He is still the sweetest thing ever. When I came home from church on Sunday I was surprised at the door with a totally unexpected card and some gifts from Bean. I have to tell ya, she has fantastic penmenship at this tender age. Her handwriting is strangely identical to her daddy's. And she picked out the best "I love Mommy" onsie and bibs. She's a humble child and did admit in the card that daddy had to help her a little bit. =)

John has been working his tucus off...both at work and around the house. God love him, I don't know where he scavanges the engergy from. But we still laugh and have a great time together. All is good.

House Update:
We have Bean's room painted in some delicious colors, the wood flooring is down, and the crisp white baseboards are installed. We've started building the closet organizer and putting stuff away. The rest of the house still looks like my craft room threw up all over, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It won't be long before we can bring the crib home and start setting up for sweet Bean's arrival.

Body & Nest Progress

I still feel great. A little bit guilty for not exercising or doing some type of activity a little every day. Is typing or holding down my office chair count as exercise? But I'm not guilt ridden enough to do anything about it. I did go to the pool the other day but the water was so cold that all I was able to do in 30 minutes was ease my way in (15 minutes) then flail around a bit to keep from freezing (10 minutes) then get out and dry off so Bean could thaw out (5 minutes). I'm SURE that did some good, right?

So I wore my new preggy pants today. And my shoes definitely fit more snuggly. Not 'snuggly' in a cute baby bear kind of way but 'snuggly' in a "Wow I can't believe I stuffed these marshmellow feet into anything less than Ronald McDonald shoes!" I don't have full on foot swell yet, but my ankles just googled the driving directions to Cankle Town so it shouldn't be long.

I don't mind it though. Like I told my buddy Lisa...it goes with being pregnant and I appreciate everything that has or is or will happen. I can't be all "Hey I'd like a baby" and expect to skip the stuff that goes along with growing a baby. And if slightly swollen tootsies are the worst I've had to deal with thus far...BONUS!

We are getting closer to being able to work on Bean's room. My crib bedding came in yesterday and I could cry at how beautiful and perfect it is! I know, I know. It is nothing like any of the first ideas I had but we love it and I know Bean will look adorable surrounded by such pretty fabrics.



Tonight I go pick paint colors. Soon we'll begin painting and laying down the wood floors. I can't wait to post pictures of the before and after of this room.

=)

Okay, the grossest thing I've EVER read...EVER!

I feel the breakfast rising when I read the title of THIS article and could not get further than the first paragraph. Okay, I did eventually skim through the rest of it.

My FAVORITE part is where the author says: "I’d have to be stupid-drunk to eat placenta."

Amen, sister!

Belly Development @ 20 weeks

I figure it's time to post some belly shots. I mean, I AM 1/2 way to the finish line.




For reference, this picture was taken at 16 weeks. Now that I compare the two, I do see some progress. Grow Bean Grow!

God has shown favor on us yet again....

and has given us a baby GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome to the family Bean-ette!

Yay! The wait is finally over and I couldn't be happier.

John held my hand the entire time. When the technician's magic wand hovered over Bean's "baby bits", I'm pretty sure we all held our breath until she said "That's most definitely a girl!" Then simultaneous screams errupted (from me and The Moms), followed by tears of joy (again....from me and The Moms). In between joyful sobs I managed to croak out "Are you SURE???" The sweet technician confirmed it again and then let the doctor come in to confirm for a 3rd time. My mom made this sign that had "It's a Girl" written on one side and "It's a Boy" on the other. How cute is she?? I'm so glad she made the sign because we were able to snap a few quick pictures.

All other baby parts were verified and seemed to be working normally. It was INCREDIBLE to see the tiny chambers of Bean's heart. Two kidneys were visible. We saw arms & legs & fingers and toes. We saw stomach & brain and spine and ribs. All precious in my sight. God bless technology!

Of course The Moms were thrilled. I was so glad they were a part of this monumental day. Once I was able to wipe all the ultrasound goo off my belly, button my snuggly fitting jeans, we all practially RAN out to the waiting room to fire up our cell phones. That was the beginning of the 4 hour text/phone fest. God bless technology!

After the appointment our families gathered for a celebratory dinner at Outback. What an emotional day. It's only 8:00pm here on the east coast and I am drained!

I wonder if it could possibly get any better than this. I do have a sneaking feeling it's going to get TONS better. I can't yet imagine how much better, but I'm ready. =)

Yaaaaaay! At last...

I felt my first Bean kick today at about 1:45. I was sitting at work reading an email and...what the heck...I felt the tiniest most gentle little flutter in the front of my stomach. And then it happened again. I knew right away what it was because I'd never felt anything like it before.

I sent John a quick email and he calls me IMMEDIATELY to have me describe everything. Then he tells his coworkers (mostly women) and I hear them cheer from his side of the phone.

I called my mom to share the great news. No answer at the house. I'll try again later.

I sent a quick text to my sister, who does exactly what John did. She called me immediately and squealed over the phone for like a whole minute. She's so excited and we couldn't stop from giggling.

Then I sent a quick text to Tipitee, and I swear she does the same thing...call, squeal, laughter.

So yeah, there is some action going on. Do I feel pregnant yet? A little more than I did yesterday. But I'll really feel pregnant after Friday's appointment.

And did I mention I CANNOT WAIT FOR FRIDAY TO GET HERE ALREADY????????

Update

I haven't had anything profound to put on the blog lately. Sorry. =(

So here's an update. I'm still feeling great. I thought I was starting to show a couple of weeks ago because my pants were tight one day but they were straight out of the dryer. Nothing else has been snug since. I'm still wearing a size smaller than when I started out on this journey. So yeah, no bump yet. But I keep checking and expect one morning to wake up and be HUGE.

I haven't felt any movement or flutterings or anything yet. It's a bummer because I'm really looking forward to that part of it making it real to me. I still forget I'm preg sometimes.

I had my 18 week appointment last Friday, March 20th. Mom went with me and recorded the heart beat. Doc found it much easier this time. Yep, our only link to the world inside. One day soon enough I'll get to know that heartbeat out here in the world.

I was just thinking this morning about how I'm kind of scared to learn the gender next week. Right now we can imagine life either way....the pros & cons of either gender but next week it will be fo sho one way or the other.

Still tearing up the 2nd bedroom to make room for Bean. We are putting bamboo floors down and have so much to do before even getting to that point. So right now all my scrap stuff is out in the dining room surrounding the kitchen table. I hate living with my house in shambles but it's all we can do right now. And it will be put back together soon enough. I can imagine how great this room will look once all the work is finished.

Lately my thoughts have been "Oh crap, we are having a baby and am I really ready for this???" It's not that I think it will be hard or anything. It's just such a vast unknown. Yeah, and I guess a little bit scary. Pray for my mind, if you have a quick minute or two.

I may not post again until April 3rd when we learn the gender. Unless something cool happens like I feel a kick or my baby belly explodes onto the scene.

Thanks for following along!

Proof of Life

So I think my baby belly is starting to show. I might start posting pictures of the belly progress.

Speaking of belly, my stomach muscles kill me every time I sneeze, cough or laugh. I suppose it is because the muscles are being pushed apart as Bean gets bigger and starts growing out. It's only slightly uncomfortable but does make me aware that something is going on inside.

Gender Poll and Pregnancy Pool

There is a poll going on in my office of what Bean's gender will be. Right now the vote stands at Boy (4) vs Girl (5).

Also, someone recently mentioned starting a Pregnancy Pool where people put up $5 to guess when Bean will be born and how much baby will weigh. I've never been involved in one of those so I don't know how it works. But I have noticed people asking me weird questions, like: How tall is John? How much did you weigh when you were born? Do you plan on continuing (ha!) to eat healthy or will you indulge in nightly Whoppers?

At first I scratched my head wondering what the heck these questions were for. Then I realized the cheaters are trying to gain an advantage over the other guessers as to whether there is a strong likelihood of me having a 12 lb baby-luffagus or a petite 6 lb-er.

My lips are sealed.

Pregnancy "Menu"

I did not write this. I found it online (can't remember where) and thought it was hilarious.

First Trimester Menu

• Appetizer - Tums compote


• Entree - Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltines, lightly seasoned with Saltines


• Beverage - Ginger ale (IV drip available upon request)


• Dessert - Ten minutes in a dark room with an ice bag on your head

Second Trimester Menu

• Appetizer - Half a roast chicken, extra crispy


• Entree - A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)


• Beverage - Toll-House pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream


• Dessert - 9X16 pan of double-fudge brownies

Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)

• Appetizer - Three bites of tossed salad


• Entree - Two bites of lasagna


• Beverage - None...so you'll have room for dessert


• Dessert - A Tic Tac

Double portions available if you're expecting twins

16 Weeks

From 16 - 20 weeks I should start feeling baby movement. John is super excited for this to happen. Every couple of days he'll put his hands on my stomach and just hold it there. I don't think you can feel the movements until much later, but I think he's just so darn cute to want to feel the baby already. I haven't felt anything inside yet, but I've read that I may confuse the first few flutters as hunger pangs. We shall see.

People have been asking me if I plan to stay at home with Bean or if I'll return to work. For now John and I have decided that I'll return to work after maternity leave. And since we both feel strongly about me nursing, it hit me that working moms can't just prance back to their job without any preparations or forethought. There is a lot of stuff I have to consider if I plan on continuing to nurse. For example, where in this grody building will I pump? How will I store Bean's bottles seperately from the refrigerator my coworkers use for their lunch? How will I clean the pump equipment? How can I prevent any embarassing accidents while at work? How can I handle maternal business as discreetly as possible? How can I keep from dying of embarassement if people find out?

Well, I don't yet have answers to all the questions, but John and I did buy a mini fridge to keep in my cubicle. I figure that will solve the storage problem. And as a result, thrust me into an awkward (for me) conversation with a male coworker about my plans to breastfeed. Ugh. As much as I so wanted to keep my intentions a secret, I knew I couldn't just throw this thing up over my shoulder and sneak it past everyone. I needed help and that meant I may have to explain a few things. Someone brought it from my car to my desk and another guy helped me set it up. Those that asked got their answer. And I'm really impressed with how well they handled the information. No one yelled "Oh God you mean you'll be doing THAT?! So gross! Hey guys...guess what?!!" I know, it's weird that I kind of expected that reaction. These people really CAN be adults from time to time. Hmmm, who knew?

Well, I am starting to wonder what it will be like to care for a newborn. How often do babies get bathed anyway? God love the internet. I found out that pediatricians recommend a bath 1 or 2 times a week so as not to overdry their delicate skin. And wipes can be used in between water-baths if needed. We can totally handle that!

I had a thought today

Even though I don't feel pregnant at all, and quite honestly I don't yet feel bonded to the life growing within, this little baby is already deeply loved by God. It makes me cry to think that as we were all being formed in our mother's womb, completely unaware of our surroundings, of our parents or even of ourselves, God had a marvelous plan for us. A co-worker emailed me this eBook called Your Pregnancy Devotional. In it I read that the life inside is a blank canvas, waiting for the brushstrokes to be added. I wonder what Bean's canvas will end up looking like. I wonder how my canvas will change as God adds the colors of motherhood to it.

This life was created, as we all are, for a purpose. We think it is a product of our human love. But I know there is more to it than that.

Lord, I can't help but wonder how you will use Bean for Your glory. How will you use John and I to further your kingdom through this tiny life? I'm excited to see it all unfold. Thank you for this opportunity to step out of the boat with You.

Bean at 15 Weeks

Yep, we are on the brink of entering a new week in Bean's development. I've read that Bean can move all joints and limbs but I won't be able to feel the movements for a couple more weeks. The article also says that if I shine a light right at my belly Bean can move away from it. I kind of doubt that the light would pierce all the way through MY blubber, so Bean's delicate eyes are probably safe for now. Although there is not much for baby to taste right now, taste buds are forming. And finally, the article says I should start talking to Bean. I do have a neat little Dr. Seuss book that mom bought for us specifically for reading to the bun while still in the oven. Better dust that off and get to reading.

Wait, does that mean baby will talk in rhymes when she comes out? Hmmmm.