It takes a while

How do you write about death? This is my second occasion to do so and it doesn't get easier. My grandmother passed away yesterday. It was 3:38am on June 26th. She was 81. I keep having to remind myself that she's gone. It takes a while for it to register, I guess. My mind goes back to the last time I'd seen her...

{Our Four Generation Picture taken on Mother's Day 2010

It was Saturday evening last weekend (6/19/10.) And it was an accidental visit. I had called grandma to see if my mom was there. When grandma told me she wasn't, I didn't want it to seem like that's the only reason I called, so we chatted a bit. She told me my uncle and his wife had come over from Tampa to cook dinner for her and that John and I should bring the baby over for a visit. My sister Sarah was hanging out at my house so we brought her along with us.

{My sister Sarah, my daughter Brooklyn, & Grandma}

Truth be told, I could have drummed up no shortage of excuses to not go over. I'm not as close with my extended family as others are, so me NOT visiting people is the norm. But for some reason I felt like we should take the time to go over and say hey to everyone. It was a great time. I'm so glad I went.

We sat around chatting about the job situation (most of my family and I work at the space center), the effect the oil spill is having on our state, and sundry other topics. Grandma sat quietly, half contributing and half just watching the interactions.

When I asked her if she wanted a turn holding Brooklyn, her eyes lit right up. She held the baby until Brooklyn got too heavy and wiggly for her to manage. We all chatted some more, nibbling Hors d'œuvres (seriously, why can we not spell this orderves????) My uncle's wife told us how it takes grandma forever to eat a cracker with dip on it. Something that people normally pop into their mouths takes her 4 bites. We all laughed. Grandma can be so adorable.

At one point I noticed her sitting staring at Brooklyn. I asked her what she was thinking. She said "the baby is just soooooooo beautiful." I know grandma really loved her first great-granddaughter. You could easily see it in her eyes.



I was glad we went for a visit. But now I'm even more grateful for that time. I had no idea it would be the last time I'd see her. More memories will come to me. And I'll tuck them away somewhere on a scrapbook page so I don't ever forget. The funeral probably won't be for another week. I am looking forward to hearing what others in the family remember most about grandma. She will be dearly missed by us all.

{My grandma with her youngest daughter - my mom.}