For First Time Mommys-To-Be: The stuff they don't tell you in books.

1) Don't register for massive jars of diaper cream to keep by the changing table. The bulk size seems tempting but in reality the screw off lids are very hard to remove with one hand. But Rebecca, why will I only have one hand to remove the lid? Because your other hand will be used to keep a squirming baby from kicking poo all over herself or you or to keep above mentioned squirming baby from flipping over and crawling off the changing table. You need tubes of diaper cream with flip top lids.

2) If you are a working mom who plans to keep breastfeeding after you return to work, GOOD FOR YOU! It is possible to do and you will be sooooo frickin proud of yourself for keeping at it. Here are my tips:

Keep an extra set of bottle caps in your pump bag. I forgot lids once and that panicky feeling you get when you think you might have to toss out some precious milk is just not worth it. Luckily I had a glass bottle of cranberry juice at my desk that I washed out (with scalding hot water) and was able to use to bring the milk home in. Also useful are the freezer storage bags they sell specifically for breastmilk. They take up practically no space in your pump bag and can also be used for transport if you forget lids.

Keep a box of nursing pads and an extra shirt AT WORK. I didn't ever need the extra shirt because of leakage, but I did end up using the spare shirt when Brooklyn pooped on me while dropping her off at daycare. In fact you should keep an extra shirt in your car, in your husband's car, at your friend's house, your parent's house, or any other place you can think of where your kid might poop, pee, yak, snot or drool on you and you don't feel like wearing this badge of parenthood all day long.

3) If you have questions about how long to store breastmilk, go here.

If you have questions about how to re-use pumped breastmilk, go here.

Basically, what I'm saying is DO NOT THROW OUT BREASTMILK based on what a few people might tell you. I wasted a lot of milk in the beginning because I didn't know how resilient it really was.

4) Baby products that fold, open or collapse were clearly not made by people who know what it's like to try and fold, open or collapse said product with a baby in one arm. It seems like EVERYTHING takes 2 hands to fold, open or collapse. The most frustrating thing will be the handle on the infant car seats...the kind of car seat that you take out of the car and fit into the stroller. This handle requires you to lean half way into the car to reach the far side and the near side latches simultaneously, so be prepared to drop ALL THE THINGS you are most likely holding to fold the handle back.

5) If you live in a small apartment, house or condo with a less than huge dining area, don't waste precious space on a full sized high chair. They make the kind that strap to an existing dining room chair and these work splendidly. They also work great for little babies because it reclines and the tray tilts so that the baby can be laying back for feedings, like this. This way the baby is secure for when you are home alone and have to quickly run to pee. I know, I know....you shouldn't leave your kid alone for even 1 second (and I don't recommend doing it) but come on. Sometimes it HAS to happen. These are also good for when you need to shower and you are home alone with baby. Just drag the chair into the bathroom, strap the kid in, put a fistful of cheerios on the tray and there you go.

That's all I can think of for now.

Who's timetable is it anyway?

I really try not to compare Brooklyn's progress or development to that of other babies her age. I admit, it was difficult at first. I would see these other kids who have like 5 teeth, eat hamburgers, can jump rope and speak two languages. And are only 11 months old. I'd think to myself "I'd be happy with just a crawl." But I realized it really isn't a race.

So instead, John and I celebrate each new step that she makes. We realize that all babies do things when they are good and ready. No teeth yet? Well I've never known a 3 year old who hadn't yet popped out any teeth. Or a 5 year old who didn't walk or know how to crawl. I just keep these things in my mind when I hear how well other babies are doing. This frees me to share in the joy of that proud momma and papa.

On the other hand, I don't want to judge or be judged by other moms either. And trust me, we can all tell when we are being judged...we do it to ourselves PLENTY and are experienced in the detection of criticism no matter how silent or unintended. A slight lift of an eyebrow, the smallest inflection in someone's voice, the darting of the eyes when I tell them, "No Brooklyn isn't walking yet. She isn't even crawling. Nope, not even 1 tooth nub."

She'll get there. We all get there. And I'm going to sit back and enjoy every baby-step of the way.

Highs & Lows

High
Giving Brooklyn a big hug before dropping her off at daycare.

Low
Feeling dampness on your arm right where her bottom is.

Lower
Looking to see that the dampness is brown.

High
Realizing that none of "it" got on your work shirt...YAY!

Pre-Mommy Delusions

I'll admit it. I had preconceived notions on how some aspects of parenting would be. No matter what I read in books, I just couldn't imagine the reality of some things.

For instance, feeding a baby from a spoon. My delusion: Soft music would play in the background as the baby would sit perfectly still, totally engaged in being fed, willingly opening their mouth wide enough, with their hands quietly resting in their laps, NOT blowing a mouth full of squashed peas all over you because they just learned to do that and think it is hilarious.

The reality: The TV blaring in the background as the baby wiggles and squirms, trying to look everywhere but at you, dodging the spoon at every turn, trying to bat your hand or the spoon or the container of food, not at all interested in the process OR opening her mouth for more than a nano second, an opportunity which of course you miss because you are picking up the container of food that has spilled all over the floor because you didn't expect your sweet little Jackie Chan to karate kick it out of your ill-prepared hands.

Lies they tell you about the solid food transition...

Okay, I'm really frustrated that no one tells you how to go about the whole 'introduction to solid foods' thing. Here are a couple of lies I uncovered about this transition:

1) All the books I read said to mix the cereal with milk to a very runny consistency, to equal about a teaspoon for day 1. Then reduce the milk and increase the cereal daily from then on. Oh this is so not true. Brooklyn's system did not handle the onslaught of anything other than milk. What we learned later is that we should give her cereal for one meal, followed by milk, for one day only. Wait a couple days. Give it to her again for one meal, then milk, for one day. And so on. Then move up to two days in a row. This gives her system time to process this more concentrated form of food. Would this info have been nice to know a week ago????? YES! I could have avoided #2. Read on....

2) AND ANOTHER THING they don't tell you is that rice cereal will bind up the baby's ability to poo, making them seriously uncomfortable and prone to mindless screaming for hours on end. Will you have any idea why this is happening? Of course not. As new parents how would you know this? Again, helpful stuff to know LAST WEEK.

3) They make you think that if your kid isn't on solids by 6 months then you must be some freak trying to hinder your child's development or something. Screw "them" whoever "they" are. We took Brooklyn off the cereal and threw it in the trash. I don't care how old she is right now, or WHO thinks she should be eating solids already. I've never known a 5 year old who is still bottle fed because his parents didn't move him to solids by 6 months of age. We are going to wait a couple more weeks and try again. And maybe not even with cereal. Hence #4...

4) They also make you think that cereal is the first thing a baby should even try. Bull honk! I had a friend tell me she skipped cereal altogether with her first baby and he turned out just great.

I think we'll try avocado with Brooklyn when we give solid food another go. In a few weeks. When we are all darn good & ready. And if she happens to be 7 months old, SO BE IT!

Solids

No, not 'solids' as in someone did you a bunch of favors. I mean 'solids' as in the first non-breast milk thing Brooklyn gets to eat from a spoon. The word solid is very misleading because it isn't solid at all. It's mashed pureed (insert food) and about as un-solid as you can get.

Anyway, we chose the rice cereal as her first spoon-fed item. She wasn't sure about it initially but after a few tastes she did surprisingly well with this new experience. Brooklyn I'm so proud of you!

The part that makes me laugh is how my imagination of what it would be like to feed a baby from a spoon clashed with the reality of feeding a baby from a spoon. I pictured her sitting there very calmly, interested, open-mouthed, while woodland creatures frolicked about and birds sang through an open sunlit window. Reality: wiggly, closed-mouthed baby who's interested in everything BUT the task at hand. There is no way reading a book can prepare you for it.

Aaaaaaaah, love this time of year!

To me the end of September is like the warm up band for the remainder of the year. The weather begins to cool...well, not much cooler here in Florida but even a 2 or 3 degree drop in temp is much appreciated. People start hauling out their fall decorations. The squash section of the grocery store finally gets some love with the addition of the pumpkin and all the other cool looking squash type veggies that fall brings. The stores start selling their sweaters and coats - which has always been silly to me since we only get to wear sweaters for like 2 hours out of the year. But the bonus is they put all the summer stuff on sale. Yay!

I'm still enjoying time off with Brooklyn. I go back to work in two weeks and I'm trying hard not to think about it. I love staying home with her. It's fun to have a cooperative baby who lets you sleep until 8:00 or 9:00. And now that she's cleared to go out in public it's fun to take her to meet my friends in the village for lunch. I'm trying to absorb every moment as much as possible.

See, the doctor said since she was premature that we should wait 2 or 3 months to bring her out. We didn't mind adhering to that rule.



Taking her places isn't the huge nightmare I thought it would be. We keep the diaper bag stocked and by the door and her milk goes in bottles so I don't have to attempt breastfeeding out in public. And thank God for mirrors on the backseat headrest that allow parents to see their kids in the rear facing car seat.

It seems like most of the logistical things I was worried about regarding parenthood have turned out to be no big deal so far. Love that! I'm sure it will become more trying once she's eating solid foods, so I'll enjoy the ease now while I can!

Couldn't have said it better myself...

John and I were just talking last night about how American society is setting kids up for disappointment in the real world by trying to shield them from failure. And today in this book I'm reading during my lunch break the author brings up the same exact subject...preventing children from doing things that might damage their self-esteem. The author quotes Rick Reilly, a sports writer for Sports Illustrated, regarding school districts outlawing Dodgeball:

I know what all these NPR-listening, Starbucks-guzzling parents want. They want their Ambers and their Alexanders to grow up in a cozy womb of noncompetition, where everyone shares tofu and Little Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf set up a commune. Then their kids will stumble out into the bright light of the real world and find out that, yes, there's weak and there's strong and teams and sides and winning and losing. You'll recognize those kids. They'll be the ones filling up chalupas. Very noncompetitive.

This book is BRILLIANT!

PS I do listen to NPR (mainly to mock the media with my friends later) and I do semi-guzzle Starbucks, but I totally agree with both writers. I want our kids well equipped to deal with the ups and downs that exist in the non-fiction world.