Independence Day, 2010

My firecracker baby, patriotic sweetie and I went to a friend's house

for some food

some fireworks

and fun with friends.

It was a rainy afternoon but the boys improvised.

And Brooklyn got to wear her festive skirt.

You never wake up thinking

today is the last day I'm going to be able to hug and kiss my daughter. That is just what happened for some sweet precious friends of mine. I found out this morning that their 2 1/2 year old daughter Reagan passed away Tuesday, 3/30 after contracting bacterial meningitis. They had less than 24 hours with her after she became sick. Nothing could be done. They held her as she slipped away, from this earth and into the arms of Jesus.

I'm shocked. I'm horrified. I'm heart broken. I can't stop crying. I have too many thoughts. And I feel guilty for feeling any bit of grief and sorrow. Her parents probably feel that all the grief in the universe is theirs to bear. That no one has the right to share in any of it. I wouldn't blame them if they thought that.

I went to visit Reagan's parents as soon as I found out. What do you say? What could anyone possibly say? What words could bring even a fraction of comfort? I scrambled to try and find a silver lining. There was non. I said nothing. I just cried with them. I let them share what they wanted to share. We cried some more. I prayed with them. They asked about Brooklyn. And we cried some more.

So how were they? I have so much respect for how these people are leaning on their faith in God rather than blaming Him for their loss. Both parents are doing what they can to comfort Reagan's twin brother, who at 2 1/2 years old most likely has a hard time understanding what has happened.

And so I leave their house to go to work. My life goes on. Business as usual. The world keeps turning. The red lights continue to change to green. The DJs on the radio keep babbling. But I can't forget about the people who's lives were just ripped into two.

Lord, please comfort them. I beg you.

And when I got home I hugged Brooklyn. More than I ever have before. And I thanked God for every minute I've been able to enjoy.

Daycare Day 1, How did it go?

It went great. I got a good report from a close friend (Traci) who's infant son also attends this same daycare. Traci saw Brooklyn when she dropped off her own son in the morning. Traci told me that Brooklyn recognized her and waved to her when Traci left. This is amazing to me because we've not seen her wave before. She does this neat little wrist motion that looks like she's revving up her motorcycle. Little did I know this was her way of waving. So yay....add this to the list of posts labeled 'firsts.'

Then I went to visit baby girl at lunch. She was sleeping soundly in a swing. I chatted with the teachers and they seem like really great women.

And this morning when I dropped Brooklyn off, the sweet little boy from yesterday remembered her. His name is Brady and from across the parking lot he yells "It's BROOKLYN!!!!!!!" as his mommy walked him to the building. I thought that was the cutest thing ever. She's already welcomed by some of the other kids.

More than I could have asked for...

When I picked Brooklyn up from Shelby's today I got some really great news. Shelby told me that she spent time praying for Brooklyn and her future spouse...that he would love God's word and have godly parents. I love that and pray that over her myself. Shelby also prayed that Brooklyn would have a strong will. I get this and see that it really is a positive. I was strong willed. For me that meant I didn't feel the need to go with the flow when other kids were running around getting pregnant or in trouble. It meant that if I was given a challenge I was determined to find a solution. These are attributes that pay major dividends in life. And I do want Brooklyn to be confident and determined to make her way in this world. Especially since our way of living is different than the norm. We love and serve God. I want her to shine her light to her peers regardless of what is socially acceptable. I want her to be the peer pressure among her friends. I heard our youth pastor share that during one of his talks and thought "what a fantastic concept!"

I imagine people don't typically get to enjoy the awesomeness that comes with a child care provider who prays over your child. That is why I'm so thrilled with the way all of this has turned out. Shelby cares very much for all aspects of Brooklyn's wellbeing and John and I can rest assured that our baby is in good hands. Thank you God for taking a situation that could have been simply average and making it magnificently more than what I asked for or could think of. Ephesians 3:20 is alive and living in me!

Black Friday

Got some great deals. Did more spending on myself than anyone else. What's up with that???

It really wasn't the nightmare I thought it would be. I guess it's all in the attitude. I normally hate crowds and lines and the multitude of idiot drivers. But this day I figured those people WILL be encountered...so I'd better just be prepared for it. It made the experience so much fun. Went shopping with Krissy until our feet hurt. It was great to catch up with my BFF. It's been a long time since we've hung out just the two of us. I heart her! We also met John & Brooklyn at Moe's for lunch. I truly love the excitement of Christmas.

Heather will be here in less than a month! Huge WOOHOO!

You can ALWAYS trust in God to come through!

Last week John's company cancelled the 4 day work week. Although that sucks for him, the child care schedule, at this point, was still workable. However then we were dealt a blow last night when we found out my mom wouldn't be able to care for Brooklyn either. Seriously? But we had it all figured out. Why is this coming crashing down on us??? I really felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I cried.

How would we manage to find care for the baby for the 2 days a week that my mother in law cannot cover? My mind started going crazy trying to find a solution to our new problem. Does part time daycare even exist? Not for an infant. Am I going to have to quit my job? I can't even think straight. My heart was overwhelmed with sadness. I made some phone calls. We prayed and then went to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.

And with tomorrow the sun came up. I called a friend this morning and asked her if her mom might want to work for us by caring for Brooklyn 2 days a week. The answer is a very enthusiastic "YES!" Seriously? Please don't be joking. "No, really. I would LOVE to watch Brooklyn for you. Thanks so much for asking me." Wow. I didn't expect that. But I knew that God would take care of things.

I called John with the good news and he was soooooo relieved. Shelby will start on 11/30.

Oh happy day!

Happy Birthday to Me!

We all slept in this morning but when I went to see the baby this is what I found:



Lunch in the village with John & Brooklyn. Thai Thai's...nummers!!

Lots of great pictures in the park.






Dinner with family & friends. More great pictures. What a luxurious day!

I get by with a little help from my friends....

So Saturday this marvelous baby shower was thrown in my honor. I was tickled and humbled by the effort of my friends Paige, Krissy & Lisa. I know they worked hard to put it together and to me it went off without a hitch. Fun times, fun times! And a huge thanks to my mom and sister for the fabulous cake. The only problem with it was that I couldn't get enough into my face! =)

The turn out was amazing. Women came from near and far to help us prepare for the arrival of our little one. I'll never forget my friend Kailah having come all the way from Jacksonville, FL to represent a group of online friends that I've made over the last 2 or so years - most of whom I've NEVER met in person. Their group gift was so touching...a scrapbook album filled with pages made by each girl and ready for me to add pictures of OUR sweet girl. Words for this gift escape me.

There were so many other memorable gifts but more than that, the people who were there to support us really surprised me. There were women from my workplace that I don't even know very well. There were women who are only connected to me by being relatives of my friends. And there were many loving women from my church. So rather than focus on who wasn't there (my own extended family) my heart is warmed by so many friends who love and care for John and I.

Yaaaaaay! At last...

I felt my first Bean kick today at about 1:45. I was sitting at work reading an email and...what the heck...I felt the tiniest most gentle little flutter in the front of my stomach. And then it happened again. I knew right away what it was because I'd never felt anything like it before.

I sent John a quick email and he calls me IMMEDIATELY to have me describe everything. Then he tells his coworkers (mostly women) and I hear them cheer from his side of the phone.

I called my mom to share the great news. No answer at the house. I'll try again later.

I sent a quick text to my sister, who does exactly what John did. She called me immediately and squealed over the phone for like a whole minute. She's so excited and we couldn't stop from giggling.

Then I sent a quick text to Tipitee, and I swear she does the same thing...call, squeal, laughter.

So yeah, there is some action going on. Do I feel pregnant yet? A little more than I did yesterday. But I'll really feel pregnant after Friday's appointment.

And did I mention I CANNOT WAIT FOR FRIDAY TO GET HERE ALREADY????????

You want to know what cute looks like?

On Feb. 2nd I wrote a blog entry that ended with "Now someone go get me a cupcake!"

On Feb. 9th I got this crocheted adorableness in the mail from my cyber friend Valerie:



















So today this comes in the mail for Bean and things just keep getting cuter:


















Why is it even cuter? Because it is teensy! And we all know that teensy things register super high on the cuteness scale.

2nd Trimester Appt Today

We have our 2nd OB appointment today at 3:00. John and I are both excited to see the progress.

I'm feeling great. I've had no food cravings, no weird dreams, and I haven't begun to show yet. My appetite is coming back and I'm eating normal portions of food now instead of little niblets. I wish I were getting more sleep. There are just too many great TV shows on right now.

Operation "Makin Room for Baby" is still in effect. We wanted to put wood flooring in Bean's room but will now have to spend the $$ on storage cabinets that will line 1 whole wall. I'd love love love the flooring but with space being such an issue, we think the cabinets will be a better use of dollahs. I no longer feel an urgent need for a bigger house. It isn't the worst thing in the world to have the baby's room share space with an office. Maybe I was having an emotional moment the other day. Anyway, all is well. =)

Here's a funny for the day: A sweet friend in my small group was telling me how she swaddles her new baby to comfort him. She says he looks like a burrito. She then said "I guess you guys will have a Bean burrito." It made me giggle last night and it makes me giggle this morning.

Firsts: Baby Gift

The most precious thing arrived in the mail yesterday from North Dakota. Our first present for Bean...teensy little baby caps & the tiniest baby socks you've ever seen, and a sweet card. Who do we know in ND, you might ask? Patti, a woman who has been a dear cyber friend for about 1 1/2 years. Though we've never met face-to-face, we've shared many MANY laughs, tears, craft ideas, life stories, pictures, and so much more.



Patti, thank you so much for thinking of us. And during our phone conversation, your support and encouragement was so touching. Thanks for being my cyber friend. I so appreciate you! =)